searching for bits of jamie
by gallaghergrl
Summary: 'cause he's running around in circles, round and round, still searching for bits of jamie /HarrisFisher&JamieMarvil/ AU crack!pairing


**.**

* * *

><p><strong>H<strong>arris**F**isher|**&**|**J**amie**M**arvil

.  
><strong>H<strong>|**&**|**J  
><strong>**.**

he says:  
>"you're so much like her"<p>

.

they tell him:  
>"harris, i'm not her"<br>"she's gone now"  
>"fisher, i can't be her"<p>

.  
><strong>H<strong>|**&**|**J  
>.<strong>

in his head it's

_jamie-jamie-jamie_

.

in his bed it's

_ryan-dylan-skye-ellie_

.

where has she gone?

**.  
>H<strong>|**&**|**J  
>.<strong>

"_jamie, come back to me"_

**he's singing, voice cracking, guitar strumming, tears falling**

"_come back to me, and lets see what we can be"_

**banging, crashing, slamming**

"_come back, and don't leave me now"_

**splintered wood, shattered glass, shredded pages**

**.  
>H<strong>|**&**|**J  
>.<strong>

it's all just white noise

**.**

red curls bring sudden jumps at the sight

green eyes bring dazed expressions

but it's freckles all over that bring the tears

.  
><strong>H<strong>|**&**|**J**

**ryan is her "older wiser" sister.**

when they're together, he sees the jaime he could have met one day

he sees the jaime he planned to spend the rest of his life with

.

**dylan is her "little baby" sister.**

when they're together, he sees the jaime he still remembers from all those years ago.

he sees the jaime he knows so well in his memories

.

"_do you know you're so much like her?"_

both sisters smile sadly at him through their own tear every time one of them slip out of his sheets

he's a little boy still in so many ways who's lost the only thing he's even been sure he's loved

but then again they're still little girls trying to fill the gap of their lost sister

.  
><strong>H<strong>|**&**|**J  
>.<strong>

harris doesn't mean to be so fucked up

_does anyone?_

.

but jamie has "**disappeared**"

she seems to be "**missing**"

.

maybe she's hiding in that casket over there?

.

**the cold body dressed in white looks an awful lot like a pale version of jamie**

.

everyone else is crying

harris is screaming at the girl about to be buried

begging her to stop pretending

that the game isn't funny

jamie used to love games

his yells only make people cry harder

not only for the girl who's moved on but the boy left behind

.

**for the love of god, she's not **_**gone**_**.**

.

she can't be

.  
><strong>H<strong>|**&**|**J  
>.<strong>

**skye is her best friend forever**

(does forever still exist?)

when they're together he sees bit of jamie in the body of a blonde blue-eyed girl who's kissing him desperately trying to find the bits of jamie in him

neither knows if it's working

but anything is better then being so lonely

.  
><strong>H<strong>|**&**|**J  
>.<strong>

jamie marvil was a girl who touched everybody she met in someway

.

**she was special**

.

maybe it's true; maybe the middle child really does hold a family together

.

**she was everything**

**.**

_harris is running around trying to find bits of jamie that are still around_

**.  
>H<strong>|**&**|**J  
>.<strong>

buying out stores, shopping carts full of junior mints and the kettle popcorn she loved

boxes of sprite in his garage stacked higher safe

his parents are worried

everyone is worried about him

.

sometimes he just sits there surrounded by things she loved hoping and wishing she'll somehow come back to him through them.

.

it's a shrine they say

not healthy they call it

a coping crutch even

he's just so lost

.

_**where did she go?**_

.  
><strong>H<strong>|**&**|**J  
>.<strong>

every day he stares at her picture until his eyes become blurry with tears

hoping for hints of where's she's run off too

because that _thing _in the ground is not jamie marvil

.

**if one more person tries to tell him she's gone he just might go crazy**

.

if he's not already

**.  
>H<strong>|**&**|**J  
>.<strong>

ellie is a freshman.  
>a year younger then dylan.<br>two years younger then jaime was.

she's got red curls too and freckles.  
>so many freckles.<br>she's so much like jamie,  
>if she could just close her blue eyes, and if harris is high enough by then<br>ellie could be jamie for a little while.

.

just a little while.

while he waits

.

cause that's what he's doing

_he's waiting_

**for jaime to come back**

**.  
>H<strong>|**&**|**J  
>.<strong>

where has she gone?

.

why did she leave?

.

"_why won't you come back to me?"_

**.  
>H<strong>|**&**|**J  
>.<strong>

harris is in denial

jamie has been gone awhile

the days pass by and seasons start to fade

but he's still waiting in a daze

**.  
>H<strong>|**&**|**J  
>.<strong>

Jamie Michelle Marvil

1995-2011

A Beloved Child and Friend

.

one day he'll read that and believe it

_accept the fact she's really gone_

**and she's not coming back**

**.**

that this isn't all a game of hide and seek

_but right now_

**he's still searching for bits of jamie**


End file.
